From Brain to Heart

Picture Courtesy: Google

Half of the time when I don’t work, I watch Shinchan or just go to sleep. Latter is the best though.

Such an honest kid I am.

But even if I’m not working, my brain can’t stop thinking about what to do next! Most of the ideas I get after lying into my bed but before actually falling asleep.

Yes, that time when most of us stare at the ceiling of the room! Hence, walls, ceiling, and any other domestic articles are a blessing to me.

It could last for a few minutes or hours long(depending upon how much sleepy you are).

Things don’t always seem as easy as you plan.

I encountered an emotional breakdown a few days back which affected my whole body. Dehydration also attacked and led to low blood pressure. Eating and sleeping were the important things I decided to do until I get better.

Afternoon naps are good for the heart but things went wrong that day. I was literally lying in my bed like a moth surviving in the hope of life after being given countless shocks from an electrical swatter. Even in an air-conditioned room, I was sweating like hell.

Summers in Delhi has always been a nightmare to me. I often fall sick and the same happened this time too but in a different manner.

I closed my eyes and decided not to think about anything but it didn’t work. I thought of letting my creative juices to flow in my mind so that I can have a good amount of ideas by the time I recover and get back to work. But that didn’t work too.

The Ceiling of my room never seemed that gloomy ever,

The walls looked sweating the I was.

The little wrinkles appeared on my bed felt like thorns which were piercing my skin.

I neither slept or ate properly for about two weeks which made me weaker physically and emotionally as well.

I am someone who was born with a master degree in overthinking in her hands. Hence, if I’m going through a minor problem, my brain starts recalling all the bad things happened in the past or things that never happened or don’t even exist.

Taking a day off or two in every week has always been on my to-do list but this time I didn’t realize when my emotions started dominating me wholly. The entire week was really hard. Was I not in my senses or was it just the dehydration? I couldn’t figure out.

My brain kept telling me that nothing lasts forever but my heart denied each time. The imbalance occurred made me questioned about my own existence.

I forgot to write.

I forgot to read.

I forgot to do what I do daily to get my work done.

Everything was in my head but I still couldn’t do anything.

The only option I was left with was to distract myself from how I’m feeling. I tried doing things which are out of my comfort zone. Switching off from social media and content creation seemed a really nice idea.

I am not a movie person. But I took a step ahead to watch a couple of movies.

Did make a few paintings and sketches here and there.

I indulged myself in domestic chores which I rarely do!

It took me two weeks to get the balance among my heart and brain back. Time is the real healer which I learned so far.

The whole thing might seem a little extra or over-exaggeration of my thoughts but this is what I have been through.

Everything happens for a reason and I did realize it in those two weeks. Somewhere or the other I sort of underestimated my own emotions and body and did face consequences. But in the end, I feel blessed that I got over it.

One thing that I felt proud of myself for was that I chose space over attention as I didn’t rely upon or wait for someone who would make me feel better.

Now the boring furniture and the decor of my room has regained their charm due to which I was able to write this post.

Don’t be selfless when it comes to your peace of mind.